When it comes to relationships, success isn’t about meeting external expectations or ticking off societal milestones. It’s about creating connections that allow both individuals to grow, thrive, and feel truly fulfilled. Let’s explore what success in relationships really means and how you can create the kind of love that lights you up from the inside out.
If this topic resonates with you, I invite you to listen to the full episode, The Best Successful Relationship Advice No One Ever Told You, for even more insights and inspiration.
Don’t forget to tune in to Create Your Happy on your favourite podcast player, and grab your copy of my book Love, Unstuck for tools and strategies to transform your relationships.
Redefining Success in Relationships
Success in relationships isn’t about what you can get—it’s about what you can give. Relationships are not about obligation or discipline; they’re about personal growth and learning. They act as a mirror, reflecting back to us what we might need to work on and observe within ourselves.
Conscious relationships require us to ditch the half measures and scorekeeping to give 100 percent of what we have available to give at any given moment—without expecting anything in return. Remember, 100 percent doesn’t look the same at all times. It’s about giving from a place of abundance, not obligation.
By freeing your partner from expectations, you free yourself. This personal journey we’re on is ultimately ours alone, but we’re not meant to do it alone. We’re meant to do life in community.
What Does Success Really Look Like?
Success in a relationship has nothing to do with meeting external expectations. It’s about creating a partnership that allows both individuals to grow and flourish. This applies to all types of relationships—romantic, platonic, familial, and even work relationships.
To get there, it’s crucial to focus on yourself first. Contrary to popular belief, taking care of yourself isn’t selfish—it’s essential. You can’t save anybody else until you save yourself first.
Get clarity on your values, needs, and desires. Set intentions for what you want to create in your relationship. Success varies across different types of relationships:
- In romantic relationships, it’s often about connection and intimacy.
- In platonic relationships, it’s about trust, support, and shared interests.
- In familial relationships, it’s about closeness, belonging, and understanding.
Busting Common Relationship Myths
Let’s debunk some of the most common myths about what makes a relationship successful:
Myth: Constant harmony indicates success.
Disagreements and conflict are natural in any relationship. It’s not the absence of conflict but how you handle it that matters. Constructive conflict resolution and emotional honesty are key.
Myth: Longevity is an indicator of success.
The length of a relationship doesn’t determine its success. Too many people stay together out of fear or convenience.
Myth: A successful relationship means being inseparable.
Maintaining your individuality is crucial. A healthy relationship respects personal space and fosters a balance between togetherness and independence.
Myth: Successful relationships don’t require work.
Relationships require effort, communication, empathy, and growth. The idea that love should be effortless all the time is a misconception that leads to complacency.
Myth: Successful relationships follow a set timeline.
Every relationship progresses differently. Societal milestones like moving in together, getting married, or having children don’t equate to success.
Myth: Successful relationships are always romantic.
While romance can be important, the foundation of a strong relationship is built on mutual respect, trust, and friendship.
Myth: Your partner should meet all your needs.
It’s unrealistic to expect one person to fulfill every emotional, intellectual, and physical need. A support system outside the relationship is essential.
Myth: A good relationship shouldn’t change you.
Relationships naturally lead to personal growth and change. Adapting and growing together is a sign of a healthy relationship.
Myth: High levels of passion or sex indicate success.
While passion is important, it naturally fluctuates over time. Emotional connection and companionship matter most.
Your Role in Creating Relationship Success
You have the power to create a new reality in your relationships. If you’re unhappy, it’s time to choose yourself. Embrace self-love and self-acceptance, and watch how it transforms your relationships from the inside out.
Redefining success means focusing on giving yourself the love and care you need first. Don’t contort yourself to fit into a mold. You are already worthy and deserving of the successful relationship you desire.
Define Your Ideal Relationship
This week’s exercise is simple but powerful: get clear on what success looks like for you. Whether you’re single, just starting out, or years into a relationship, clarity is the first step to creating the connection you desire.
- Create a list: Write down the qualities that define a successful relationship for you. What experiences do you want to have? How do you want to feel? Focus on what you do want, not what you don’t.
- Be specific: Treat this as though you’re writing the screenplay of your life. Paint the picture of your dreams in as much detail as possible.
- Show up as that person: Start embodying the qualities of someone who already has this ideal relationship. Set aside worries about what others are doing or not doing. Focus on being the person who creates the relationship you desire.
If you’re in a relationship, consider sharing your list with your partner. Being on the same page will help you create the connection you both desire.
Let’s Keep the Conversation Going
What resonated with you in this post? How do you define success in your relationships? I’d love to hear your thoughts—drop a comment below and let’s keep the conversation going.
Remember, success in relationships is all about intention. It’s about creating a connection that allows both individuals to thrive. It’s time to stop settling for less and start creating the love you truly deserve.
I love you! Now let’s go do some epic shit, shall we?
Christy xo
Tune into the full episode here:
Additional Resources
Ebook “Relationship Cheat Codes: A Guide to Nurturing Love and Connection”: Master the art of balancing passion and security with ‘Relationship Cheat Codes.’ Uncover the paradoxical secrets to a love that’s both thrilling and comforting, reshaping your romantic journey with every page. Get your ebook for free here.
Love Reimagined Course: Lean into the relationship paradox with ‘Love Reimagined.’ This course guides you through the dance of maintaining both excitement and stability in your relationship, turning the paradox into your personal love story. Register for this transformative program here.
Additional resources and offerings
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The Change Mirage: Embracing Authenticity Over Transformation
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Listen/ Watch
S3E11 | The Best Successful Relationship Advice No One Ever Told You
