Where Does This Myth Come From?
Our culture is riddled with the idea that love can transform people. Phrases like “I can change him” or “If she really loves me, she’ll change for me” are not just common; they’re deeply embedded in our societal norms. This belief sets unrealistic expectations and leads us down a path where we focus on potential rather than reality.
The Pitfall of Trying to Change Your Partner
Here’s a hard truth: trying to change your partner is like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole; it doesn’t work. Instead, it breeds resentment and disappointment. As I shared in the episode: “You can’t change your partner, and trying to do so is ultimately setting you up for disappointment.”
Focus on Self Change
The only person you have the power to change is yourself. This shift in focus is not only liberating but also transformative for your relationships. By embracing your authentic self, you invite your partner to do the same, creating a more meaningful and genuine connection.
The Power of Acceptance
The key to creating healthy relationships is acceptance—accepting your partner as they are, “warts” and all. This doesn’t mean settling for “less” but rather appreciating the unique individuality of your partner. As I emphasized in the episode, “When you are not authentically yourself… you simply cannot feel truly seen, heard, loved, or accepted.” It starts with YOU.
Taking Radical Responsibility
It’s vital to take responsibility for your own happiness and well-being. If a relationship is not fulfilling, you have the power to set boundaries, make necessary changes, or even walk away. As I stated in the episode, it’s crucial to “take radical responsibility for yourself. Other people might not change, but you can.”
Creating Authentic Relationships
True love and connection start with self love and self acceptance. When you fully embrace who you are, you set the stage for a relationship founded on mutual respect and unconditional love. Remember, “Unconditional love starts with you. And when you fully accept and love yourself, you set the stage for relationships where both parties can be their fully authentic selves.”
Your Love Work
Your love (home)work for this week is a reflection about what you wish to change about your partner – asking yourself if this outward change you desire is actually something you can embody or improve within yourself. This exercise of introspection and personal growth can lead to profound changes in how you experience relationships (tune in to the episode for the full instructions).
Looking Ahead
Join me for more upcoming episodes in which I explore people pleasing, perfection, and how to become a boundary boss. Your journey to self love and authentic relationships is just beginning.
Remember, embracing the real you is the first step to creating relationships that are not only fulfilling but also empowering. Let’s continue this adventure together, and as always, let’s go do some epic shit!
Tune into the full episode here:
Additional Resources for Relationship Building
Ebook “Relationship Cheat Codes: A Guide to Nurturing Love and Connection”: Hack your relationships with these cheat codes to create fulfilling relationships. Get your ebook for free here.
Love Reimagined Mini Course: Redefine your approach to love and relationships from the inside out. Get instant access here.
Find your f*cking ZEN in under 5 minutes! 🧘♀️ Check out these free unique, no-BS meditations that are as fun as they are effective. Tap into your inner calm today!
Authenticity Unleashed Program: This program is perfect for those looking to get better acquainted with their own authentic self, and learn how to set healthy boundaries like a BOSS. Enroll today!
Additional resources and offerings
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Listen/ Watch
S3E6 | The Change Mirage: Embracing Authenticity Over Transformation
