When it comes to relationships, we often hear about red flags—warning signs that something’s off. But what about the green flags? Those positive signs that indicate a healthy, thriving connection? In this post, we’ll explore 20 green flags that can guide you toward creating the kind of love that makes you truly fucking happy. Hellooooo, successful thriving relationships!
If you’d like to dive deeper into this topic, be sure to check out the full podcast episode, Spotting Success in Love: 20 Green Flags for a Happier, Healthier Relationship.
Don’t forget to subscribe to Create Your Happy on your favourite podcast player, and grab your copy of my book Love, Unstuck which is packed with the tools and strategies you need to transform your relationships from the inside out.
Why Green Flags Matter: Success in Love
Green flags are the positive qualities and behaviours that signal a healthy, thriving relationship. They’re the things that make you feel seen, heard, loved, and accepted. While it’s important to be aware of red flags, focusing on green flags helps you clarify what you do want in a relationship—not just what you don’t.
As I’ve learned in my own journey, knowing what you want is the first step to creating it. When I was in my previous marriage, I could easily list all the things I didn’t want, but I struggled to define what I did want. It wasn’t until I worked with a therapist to create a clear list of my ideal relationship qualities that I was able to move forward and find the love I truly deserved.
BTW, this list is still on my phone and I have now created a relationship that fulfills every single item on the list AND THEN SOME!
20 Green Flags for Healthy Relationships
Here are 20 green flags to look for—or cultivate—in your relationships:
- Positive Influence and Self-Care Support: Your partner inspires your personal growth and supports your self-care routines, emphasizing your physical and mental well-being.
- Shared Responsibility and Partnership: You both share responsibilities and contribute equally to decision-making, fostering equality and teamwork.
- Acceptance and Forgiveness: Mutual acceptance of each other, just as you are, combined with the ability to forgive and move forward without grudges.
- Humour and Joy: Sharing a similar sense of humor, finding laughter, and experiencing joy together—even during challenging times.
- Financial Compatibility and Future Planning: Open discussions about finances and future goals, ensuring alignment in your long-term aspirations.
- Flexibility and Adaptability: Both partners are open to change and willing to grow and evolve together as life circumstances shift.
- Intimacy, Affection, and Trust: A healthy level of physical intimacy and affection, underpinned by a strong foundation of trust and transparency.
- Appreciation and Empathy: Regularly expressing gratitude and appreciation for each other, coupled with empathy and understanding.
- Independence and Interdependence: Supporting each other’s individual goals while enjoying shared activities and intentions.
- Quality Time and Active Listening: Prioritizing quality time together and actively listening to each other with genuine interest and validation.
- Conflict Resolution and Respectful Communication: Handling disagreements constructively and communicating respectfully, even during difficult conversations.
- Encouragement and Shared Values: Encouraging personal and professional growth, celebrating each other’s achievements, and sharing core values.
- Giving Without Expectation and Emotional Openness: Freely giving within the relationship without expecting something in return, coupled with emotional openness and honesty.
- Healthy Boundaries and Mutual Respect: Respecting each other’s boundaries and individuality, fostering unconditional acceptance.
- Support in Challenges: Offering unwavering support during tough times and consistently putting in the effort to maintain and enhance the relationship.
- Shared Interests and Openness to Learning: Enjoying common interests and activities while being open to learning from each other and trying new things together.
- Emotional Availability and a Supportive Environment: Being emotionally available and creating a safe space for sharing innermost thoughts and feelings.
- Problem-Solving: Approaching disagreements with a win-win mindset, finding solutions without resorting to manipulation or silent treatment.
- Celebration of Achievements and Aspirations: Celebrating and supporting each other’s achievements and aspirations, fostering a culture of encouragement and growth.
- Balance Between Independence and Emotional Connection: Balancing individuality with a strong emotional connection, supporting personal goals while nurturing the relationship.
A Green Flag Adventure Hunt
Here’s a fun and insightful exercise to help you recognize and appreciate green flags in your relationships—or the relationships around you:
- Grab a Notebook: Set aside a week to observe and note any green flags in your daily interactions.
- Look for Positive Dynamics: Notice acts of kindness, effective communication, supportive gestures, or any positive relationship dynamics. These could be small things, like your partner making you a cup of coffee without being asked or a friend checking in on you.
- Reflect and Celebrate: At the end of the week, review your notes. Reflect on what these green flags mean to you and how they contribute to a healthy, happy relationship.
This exercise isn’t just about recognizing the good in others—it’s about understanding what truly matters to you in a relationship. It helps you build a mindset that values positive dynamics and sets the foundation for your own relationship goals.
Let’s Keep the Conversation Going
What green flags have you noticed in your relationships—or the relationships around you? I’d love to hear your stories and insights! Drop a comment below or reach out on social media to share your experiences.
Remember, the more you focus on green flags, the more you invite them into your life. It’s time to stop settling for less and start creating the love you truly deserve.
I love you! Now let’s go do some epic shit, shall we?
Christy xo
Tune into the full episode here:
Additional Resources
Love Reimagined Course: Lean into the relationship paradox with ‘Love Reimagined.’ This course guides you through the dance of maintaining both excitement and stability in your relationship, turning the paradox into your personal love story. Register for this transformative program here.
Authenticity Unleashed Program: A comprehensive guide to building unshakable self-trust and forging deep, genuine connections. This program is your roadmap to embracing vulnerability and creating a life you love. Register now and discover how YOU hold the keys to creating a life and relationships you truly love!
Ebook “Relationship Cheat Codes: A Guide to Nurturing Love and Connection”: Master the art of balancing passion and security with ‘Relationship Cheat Codes.’ Uncover the secrets to a relationship that’s packed with green flags. Get instant access to the free ebook here.
Additional resources and offerings
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Master Boundaries for Healthier Relationships and Self Growth
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Listen/ Watch
S3E12 | Spotting Success in Love: 20 Green Flags for a Happier, Healthier Relationship
