In the latest podcast episode of Create Your Happy, “Breaking Free of Sex – pectations: Reclaiming Pleasure Beyond People Pleasing,” we uncover the profound impact that societal norms and personal expectations can have on our intimate lives. If you’ve ever felt like intimacy is more like an obligation than a joyous union, read on! It is my hope that this discussion will illuminate new pathways to pleasure and connection that honour your true desires.
The High Cost of People Pleasing in the Bedroom
People pleasing can often extend into the most personal areas of our lives, including the bedroom. Unfortunately, many find themselves saying yes when their heart says no, turning what should be an intimate connection into a chore or obligation. This misalignment between true desires and actions taken out of a sense of duty can lead to emotional and relational friction. As explored in the episode, every begrudging yes, when we really mean no, is building a wall between our true selves and the intimacy we seek. Faking it might, at times, seem like the path of least resistance, but it’s actually a disservice to both our authenticity and our pleasure.”
Authentic Pleasure vs. Obligated Intimacy
Redefining pleasure in relationships starts with dismantling the obligations we feel compelled to meet. Intimacy should be a source of joy and mutual satisfaction, not a chore or a checkbox on a list of marital duties. If you find yourself thinking that sex feels like another task on your to-do list, it’s a sign that something’s off and it might be time to reassess how you approach intimacy. By confronting these ingrained behaviours of people pleasing, you can begin to express your needs and desires more openly and honestly, fostering a deeper connection with your partner.
Communicating Desires Effectively
The key to transforming intimate experiences from obligatory to celebratory lies in effective communication. It’s essential to feel safe and confident in expressing desires without fear of judgement or rejection. This openness not only enhances personal satisfaction but also deepens the emotional bonds between partners, creating a more fulfilling and respectful relationship.
Strategies for Reclaiming Intimacy
- Identify Your True Desires: Reflect on or explore what you genuinely enjoy and desire in your intimate moments, rather than what you believe is expected of you.
- Communicate Openly and Honestly: Use ‘I’ statements to express your needs and desires clearly and respectfully to your partner.
- Set Boundaries Compassionately: Establish what you are and are not comfortable with as a way to protect your emotional and physical well-being.
- Seek Mutual Pleasure: Aim for experiences that provide joy to both you and your partner, ensuring that intimacy is a shared journey, not a solitary obligation.
Embracing Intimacy as a Celebration
Shifting away from people pleasing behaviours requires courage and self-reflection, but the rewards of authentic intimacy are absolutely worth it. By embracing your true desires and fostering open communication, what once felt like a chore can transform into a celebration of connection and pleasure. Shed the burdens of sex-pectations and rediscover the joy in your intimate life with newfound clarity and freedom.
Tune into the full episode here:
Tune into the full episode of Create Your Happy to explore more about breaking free from sex-pectations and reclaiming the joy in your intimate life. Let’s shed these burdens together and rediscover what it means to connect authentically with ourselves and our partners.
Additional Resources
People Pleaser’s Path to Freedom eBook/Masterclass: Escape the yes trap and learn to live freely with this empowering teaching to help you break free from people pleasing. Get instant access here.
Breaking Free from People Pleasing: Empowering Moms to Embrace Authenticity Video: A deep dive into overcoming the people pleaser syndrome with practical tips and real-life applications for moms. Watch here.
Creating Love – A Sweary AF Meditation: Grab this free 5 minute quickie meditation designed to help you to cultivate love with a side of sass.
Authenticity Unleashed Program: Shed societal expectations, ditch people pleasing, uphold boundaries and embrace your true self for healthier, more genuine relationships. Sign up now.
Love Reimagined Program: Explore how to build deep intimacy from the inside out with this online course. Enroll now here.
Unstuck for Women Daily Self Discovery Journal: Begin your journey of self discovery and unlock the doors to personal clarity and authentic living. Get your copy here.
BOOK: Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski: Order in Canada – Order in USA
Additional resources and offerings
Other Must-Watch Episodes Related to Today’s Topic:
Season 3 Episode 9 | Breaking Free: How Boundaries Can Transform Your Love and Life
Season 3 Episode 7 | Stop Being a PEOPLE PLEASER Start Being Authentically You (Here’s How)
Season 3 Episode 2 | Love Reimagined: Letting Love Itself Transform You from the Inside Out
Season 1 Episode 1 | Sex, Intimacy, and Spirituality with Kellie Sanetel
Season 1 Episode 20 | Let’s Talk About Sex, Baby! with Tanya Gill
More Great Content
Master Boundaries for Healthier Relationships and Self Growth
Break Free from People Pleasing: Embrace Authenticity
Moms, It’s Time to Stop People Pleasing: Your Guide to Self Care and Authentic Living
Deepen Your Relationship: 3 Essential Tips for a Stronger Bond with Your Partner
Listen/ Watch
S3E18 | Breaking Free of Sex-pectations: Reclaiming Pleasure Beyond People Pleasing
For more insights and discussions, don’t forget to subscribe to Create Your Happy on your favourite podcast player, and join the waitlist for my upcoming book, “Love, Unstuck”. Together, let’s redefine what it means to be successful in our relationships.
