Identity Insights: Navigate Life’s Problems with Ease

by | Authentic Living, boundaries, general health, relationship, relationship with self, self love, stress

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S3E23 | You Don’t Have a Relationship Problem, You Have an Identity Problem

That problem that you have… it’s not what you think it is. And you’re not unhappy for the reasons that you think you are.

Hey hey, gorgeous human! Welcome back to the Create Your Happy blog! This week we’re exploring a profound topic I discussed on this week’s podcast episode: how your external problems are actually reflections of your internal identity. Let’s dive into understanding the roots of your challenges and discover how embracing your true identity can transform your life. It’s time to get to the root of all of these “problems” so that you can see them more clearly for what they truly are!


Seeing Internal Reflections

When you feel stuck in a problem — whether it’s in your relationships, career, personal growth, or health — these aren’t just random misfortunes. They’re actually reflections of your internal state. Your external challenges stem from internal disconnections.

For example, if you feel unappreciated, you might point the finger at your spouse and say they made you feel that way. But the reality is that this feeling is a reflection of your own internal narrative about your self-worth, likely based on past experiences where you felt neglected.

Imagine feeling overshadowed by your partner’s success. It’s easy to chalk this up to jealousy or competitive feelings, but what if this discomfort is really about your own feelings of inadequacy or fears that their success might make you less important?

These situations invite you to explore and heal parts of yourself. And by heal, I mean reintegrate these parts that may feel less than or unworthy. It’s not about the external problem, it’s about your own identity and self-worth.


The Illusion of Suffering

Suffering results when we resist what is or when we cling to our preferences and the status quo in fear of change. Essentially, when we do this, we’re arguing with reality and causing ourselves a whole bunch of unnecessary suffering. When we accept and align ourselves with reality, creating a space of allowing our experiences to be what they are without resistance and judgment, we can start to see that everything is impermanent.

Our pain stems from our resistance — by way of our thoughts, feelings, and responses — rather than from the experience itself. Recognizing that the only thing we can control is our response makes all the difference. Claiming our rightful power to change the world by reframing our thoughts, feelings, and reactions helps us find the true freedom and peace we’ve been seeking.


Reclaiming Your Power

Shifting your perspective from “it shouldn’t be this way” to “how might I see this differently?” can make all the difference. The patterns of resistance, aka our problems, can be unlearned and new neural pathways can be created in their place to reduce our suffering. Neuroscience research shows us that it’s never too late to reshape our brains and reroute our neural pathways, thus altering our minds and experiences of reality!

You have the power to change your brain and thus your reality through conscious thought and intention. By reframing harmful, limiting, or negative beliefs and replacing them with ones that align more closely with your true self, you can shift from survival mode to conscious creation mode. This is where what was previously invisible becomes visible, opening up a whole new world of possibilities.


Embracing All of You

Integrating the shadow — those parts of ourselves we might prefer to ignore or hide — is essential if we want to experience the magical wholeness that we are. By accepting all parts of ourselves, we dissolve the illusions of being broken or missing something. This helps us release the pain we’ve been carrying. Knowing who you are and accepting yourself, flaws and all, you step into the world as a conscious creator, making choices from the infinite possibilities before you.

Your perceived flaws are merely an illusion. They’re magnificent gifts, invitations to explore your wholeness. You are perfect just as you are — perfectly you, perfectly imperfect.


Journaling Prompts

To help you integrate these insights, here are some journaling prompts to explore:

  1. Reflect on a current or recent problem in your life. How might this situation actually be reflecting a part of your identity?
  2. What is this problem teaching you about yourself?
  3. Where might this problem be signaling an unmet need that you have?
  4. How can you go about meeting that need for yourself?

Don’t just skim by these prompts and move onto the next thing on your to-do list. This practice isn’t just about finding answers; it’s about discovering the deeper truths about your identity and your capacity for change. So go out there and consciously create a life and love that makes you truly fucking happy!


I hope this blog post has sparked some new insights for you. Remember, your perceived problems are invitations to rediscover and embrace your true essence. This deep self-knowledge isn’t just about uncovering your flaws; it’s about rediscovering and embracing your intrinsic strengths and values, guiding you to live authentically and in alignment with your true self. When you know who you truly are, each challenge is no longer a barrier but a signpost guiding you back to your intended state of peace, love, happiness, bliss, and freedom.

If today’s discussion resonated with you, please leave a comment or share your thoughts. I love hearing from you!

Tune into the full episode here:

Essential Resources

For those ready to dive deeper into these concepts, check out my book Unstuck for Women, which includes my signature Spiral Stopper Method—a toolbox of strategies designed to help you start rewiring those neural pathways from survival mode to conscious creator mode. And if you’re ready to go even deeper, the Unstuck for Women Daily Self Discovery Journal will help you start your journey into discovering your true identity within.


More Great Content

One Simple Secret to Finding Happiness: Authenticity For the Win!

Release Grudges: 3 Powerful Techniques to Find Freedom & Peace

Unlocking Peace: The Power of Forgiveness & Self Compassion

Overcoming Self Sabotage: Your Path to Authentic Joy


Listen/ Watch

S3E23 | You Don’t Have a ______ Problem, You Have an Identity Problem

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For more insights and discussions, don’t forget to subscribe to Create Your Happy on your favourite podcast player, and join the waitlist for my upcoming book, “Love, Unstuck”. Together, let’s redefine what it means to be successful in our relationships.

Hi! I’m Christy…

AKA The Happiness Hussy

As the one and only Happiness Hussy and Adventure Guide (Mentor) for living your best life, my focus is on helping you to find the truth and love within in order to consciously create the happy life, relationship and impact that you desire and deserve!

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