Do you ever feel guilty for taking time for yourself? Feeling like you’re being selfish for not always being available to others? Have you been taught that your role as a “good girl” means constantly nurturing others, even at the cost of your own happiness?
If you’ve ever felt conflicted about taking time for self-care, it’s time to challenge those beliefs.
The Myth of Selfish Self-Care
As women, many of us were raised with the idea that we should always be nurturing, putting everyone else’s needs first. The “good girl” rules have taught us that sacrificing our happiness for the sake of others is virtuous and worthy of praise.
But here’s the reality: when we constantly give without replenishing ourselves, we end up burnt out, resentful, and emotionally drained.
Womp-womp!
Think of the last time you said yes to something when you were already exhausted. How did you feel after that? Probably not great, right?
The Truth About Self-Care
Self-care isn’t selfish. It’s essential.
You can’t pour from an empty cup. When you prioritize your own well-being, you show up far better for those around you. It’s about giving from a place of abundance rather than depletion.
It’s important to note that healthy self-care doesn’t come at a detrimental cost to others. It’s not about placing your needs above others, but rather about prioritizing yourself first, which allows you to be the healthiest, most loving version of yourself.
Think about the obvious analogy of the oxygen mask on a plane. Putting on your mask first doesn’t mean you don’t care about others. It means you can help them more effectively.
When you constantly give without taking time to refill your own tank, you’ll eventually hit burnout. And the irony is, when you’re burnt out, you’re no good to yourself or anyone else. By practicing self-care, you actually prevent that cycle of exhaustion and resentment.
Overcoming the Guilt
A lot of guilt stems from conditioning we’ve received our entire lives—beliefs that our worth comes from how much we do for others. But here’s the truth: your worth isn’t tied to how much you give. By releasing that guilt, you give yourself the freedom to take care of yourself — without having to apologize.
Remember, your worth is inherent. You are worthy simply for existing!
Let’s Put it in Practise
Take a couple of minutes to reflect on what really fills your cup, and write it all down. Then, commit to doing at least one of these things this week (or even better yet, today). It could be as small as taking a break when you need it, or as big as carving out time for a neglected hobby.
- Start small: Take a short walk by yourself or read a book.
- Learn to say no: Remember, “no” is a complete answer.
- Give yourself permission: Allow yourself to rest or play without guilt. You deserve it!
Self-care is NOT selfish
Self-care is actually a gift, and it’s the best way to ensure that you’re showing up fully for both yourself AND the people you love. The more you love yourself, the more love you have to give to others. Win-win!
So go ahead and take that time for you. Taking care of yourself is the first step to creating a life that feels really fucking good to live.
Remember, the more you love yourself, the more love you have to give. It’s time to put yourself first, guilt-free.
Tune into the full episode here:
Additional Resources
The People Pleaser’s Path to Freedom Masterclass & Ebook: Struggling to put yourself first without feeling guilty? Break free from the ‘good girl’ conditioning! Get your free copy of the ‘People Pleaser’s Path to Freedom’ ebook and masterclass. Learn how to prioritize self-care without the guilt and start living a life that feels authentically good. Click here to begin your journey to guilt-free self-care!
Love Reimagined Course: Ready to build a solid foundation of self-love and create healthier relationships? In our ‘Love Reimagined’ program, you’ll learn how to prioritize your own well-being without guilt, setting the stage for more fulfilling connections with others. Discover how to fill your own cup first, so you can give from a place of abundance. Transform your approach to self-care and relationships – enroll in ‘Love Reimagined’ today!
Creating Love – A Sweary AF Meditation: Need to get yourself in the right headspace to figure out what you need? Take a 5-minute meditation break to cultivate self-love and create space for clarity. Get your free quickie meditation now.
Additional resources and offerings
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S3E27 | Why You Need to Put Yourself First In Relationship
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