Do you ever feel guilty for taking time for yourself? Like you’re being selfish for not always being available to others? Have you been taught that your role as a “good girl” means constantly nurturing others—even at the cost of your own happiness? If you’ve ever felt conflicted about self-care, this post is for you.
Let’s explore why putting yourself first isn’t selfish—it’s essential. When you prioritize your well-being, you show up as the healthiest, most loving version of yourself for others. Let’s get right to it.
Self-Care Isn’t Selfish—It’s Essential
Many of us, especially women, were raised with the idea that we should always put others first. The “good girl” rules taught us that sacrificing our happiness for others is virtuous. But here’s the reality: when you constantly give without replenishing yourself, you end up burnt out, resentful, and emotionally drained.
Think about the last time you said yes to something when you were already exhausted. How did you feel afterward? Probably not great, right?
Self-care isn’t about being indulgent or checking out on your responsibilities. It’s about making sure you’re physically, emotionally, and mentally well enough to take on the responsibilities you have. True self-love means knowing that taking care of yourself allows you to better care for others.
You Can’t Pour from an Empty Cup
Imagine the oxygen mask on a plane: you’re instructed to put on your own mask before helping others. Why? Because if you’re not okay, you can’t effectively help anyone else. The same principle applies to self-care.
When you prioritize your well-being, you give from a place of abundance rather than depletion. This isn’t about placing your needs above others—it’s about ensuring you’re in a healthy place to show up fully for the people you love.
How to Start Practicing Self-Care Without Guilt
If the idea of self-care feels overwhelming, start small. It doesn’t have to be an extravagant spa day. It can be as simple as:
- Taking a short walk by yourself.
- Reading a book you love.
- Saying no to something that drains your energy.
And remember, no is a complete sentence.
Where Does the Guilt Come From?
The guilt many of us feel around self-care often stems from conditioning. We’ve been taught that our worth comes from how much we do for others. But here’s the truth: your worth isn’t tied to how much you give.
If you’re struggling with guilt, I encourage you to check out my episodes on Asking for Support Without Guilt and Let That Shit Go. These conversations explore how to release the guilt that keeps you from prioritizing yourself.
Lean into Self-Care
Here’s a simple exercise to get started:
- Reflect: What fills your cup? What activities or practices make you feel recharged and joyful?
- Write It Down: Make a list of these things.
- Commit: Choose one thing from your list and do it this week—or even today.
Remember, self-care doesn’t have to be big or time-consuming. It’s about giving yourself permission to rest, play, and recharge.
Key Takeaway: Self-Care Is the Foundation of Healthy Relationships
Self-care isn’t selfish—it’s the best way to ensure you’re showing up fully for both yourself and the people you love. The more you love yourself, the more love you have to give to others.
If you’re ready to dive deeper into this work, check out my free ebook and masterclass, The People Pleaser’s Path to Freedom. It’s designed to help you break free from the “good girl” conditioning and prioritize your well-being.
And for those ready for a more significant transformation, my program Love Reimagined is here to help you build a solid, loving relationship with yourself so you can create healthy, fulfilling connections with others.
If you’re craving more tools to prioritize self-care and create the life and love you deserve, be sure to grab a copy of my book, Love, Unstuck: Creating Healthy, Happy Relationships through Self-Love, Emotional Intelligence, and Authentic Connection. It’s packed with insights and strategies to help you put yourself first—all without the guilt.
Make Self-Care a Practice
So, my dear readers, I challenge you to take one small step toward prioritizing yourself this week. Whether it’s saying no to something that drains you, taking a walk, or simply giving yourself permission to rest, start where you are. Share your experiences with me—the wins, the struggles, and the moments of clarity. Because if there’s one thing that makes self-care easier, it’s knowing you’re not alone in this journey.
If you’re ready to dive deeper into this topic, check out the full podcast episode: Why You Need to Put Yourself First in Relationships. It’s packed with even more insights and practical tools to help you prioritize your well-being and create healthier, more fulfilling connections.
Until the next messy, beautiful adventure, keep putting yourself first—because you deserve it.
I love you! Now let’s go do some epic, self-loving, boundary-setting, and absolutely fabulous shit, shall we?
Christy xo
PS. Don’t forget to subscribe to Create Your Happy for more tools and strategies to help you transform your relationships from the inside out!
Tune into the full episode here:
Additional Resources
The People Pleaser’s Path to Freedom Masterclass & Ebook: Struggling to put yourself first without feeling guilty? Break free from the ‘good girl’ conditioning! Get your free copy of the ‘People Pleaser’s Path to Freedom’ ebook and masterclass. Learn how to prioritize self-care without the guilt and start living a life that feels authentically good. Click here to begin your journey to guilt-free self-care!
Love Reimagined Course: Ready to build a solid foundation of self-love and create healthier relationships? In our ‘Love Reimagined’ program, you’ll learn how to prioritize your own well-being without guilt, setting the stage for more fulfilling connections with others. Discover how to fill your own cup first, so you can give from a place of abundance. Transform your approach to self-care and relationships – enroll in ‘Love Reimagined’ today!
Creating Love – A Sweary AF Meditation: Need to get yourself in the right headspace to figure out what you need? Take a 5-minute meditation break to cultivate self-love and create space for clarity. Get your free quickie meditation now.
Additional resources and offerings
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Listen/ Watch
S3E27 | Why You Need to Put Yourself First In Relationship
