Do you ever find yourself second-guessing your decisions, seeking validation from your partner, or stuck in analysis paralysis because you’re terrified of making the wrong choice? Maybe you’ve said “yes” when you meant “no” just to keep the peace, only to feel guilty later for not following through. If any of this resonates, you’re not alone—and this post is for you.
Self-doubt doesn’t just affect you—it affects your relationships, too. It creates stress where there doesn’t need to be any and can leave you feeling disconnected from your own voice. But here’s the good news: self-doubt doesn’t have to be your default. By building self-trust, you can transform not only how you show up in your relationships but also how you feel about yourself. Let’s get into it.
The Self-Doubt Cycle: Why It’s Sabotaging Your Relationships
Self-doubt isn’t just about lacking confidence—it’s about how you connect with others, set boundaries, and show up authentically in your relationships. When you don’t trust yourself, you start looking outside for validation, approval, and direction. This creates a cycle of insecurity and dependence that can wear on any relationship.
For example, you might constantly ask your partner for reassurance, not because you truly need their input, but because you’re unsure of your own judgment. Or maybe you’ve kept your thoughts, needs, and desires quiet to avoid conflict, only to feel resentment bubbling up inside. Sound familiar?
The truth is, self-doubt doesn’t just affect you—it affects your relationships, too. It creates stress where there doesn’t need to be any and can leave you feeling disconnected from your own voice.
Building Self-Trust: Start Small
The good news? Self-trust is like a muscle. You can build it over time, and it all starts with small, intentional steps.
One simple exercise you can do right now is to make one small promise to yourself every day—and keep it. It doesn’t have to be life-altering. It could be as simple as, Today, I’m going to take a 10-minute break just for myself. When you follow through on that promise, celebrate it. That’s self-trust in action.
Over time, these small actions will help you lean on your own inner guidance more and more. You’ll start to trust yourself to make decisions, set boundaries, and show up authentically in your relationships.
Boundaries: The Ultimate Act of Self-Trust
If you don’t trust yourself, setting and upholding boundaries can feel nearly impossible. But here’s the thing: boundaries aren’t about pushing people away—they’re about creating space for mutual respect and honouring both your needs and theirs.
For example, you might say, I want to understand your perspective, but when voices are raised, I find it difficult to listen. Let’s agree to take a short pause if either of us feels overwhelmed.
Boundaries are an act of love. When you set them, you’re not only protecting your energy but also teaching those around you how to love and respect you. And the more you trust yourself, the easier it becomes to communicate those boundaries with clarity and kindness.
The Root of Self-Doubt: Rewriting Your Story
Self-doubt often stems from past experiences or deep-seated beliefs we’ve carried for years. Maybe you grew up in an environment where your voice didn’t feel valued, or perhaps you’ve been in relationships where your decisions were constantly questioned.
The solution isn’t about fixing the external—it’s about shifting your internal narrative. Start by recognizing where your self-doubt comes from. Ask yourself: Is this belief serving me anymore? More often than not, the answer is no.
Acknowledge where these stories began, and then rewrite them. This is how you rebuild self-trust.
A Quick Story: From Self-Doubt to Empowerment
Let me share a quick story about a woman who struggled with self-trust. She relied on her partner to make decisions because she was terrified of making the wrong choice. Over time, this lack of decision-making power left her feeling resentful and disconnected from her own voice.
But here’s the turning point: she realized the real issue wasn’t her partner—it was her own lack of self-trust. So she started small, making decisions about what to eat for dinner or how to spend her weekends. Slowly but surely, she built up the confidence to trust her own choices.
This wasn’t just a win for her—it transformed her relationships. She began showing up as an equal partner, no longer dependent on someone else to ease the pain of decision-making.
And here’s the thing: that woman was me. I’ve been there, stuck in the cycle of self-doubt, outsourcing my decisions, and feeling disconnected from my own voice. But by making small promises to myself and following through, I rebuilt my self-trust—and it changed everything.
Take Action and Build Self-Trust
Here’s a simple action step you can take today: at the end of each day, reflect on one decision you made—no matter how small—and acknowledge that you trusted yourself to make it. Maybe you chose what to eat for dinner, or maybe you said no to something that didn’t feel right for you. Celebrate those moments.
These small decisions are laying the foundation for greater self-trust, both with yourself and with others.
Let’s Keep the Conversation Going
If this post resonated with you, I’d love to hear about it. Drop a comment and let me know: What’s one small promise you can make to yourself today to start building self-trust?
And if you want to dive deeper into this topic, check out the full podcast episode, How Self-Doubt Sabotages Relationships (And How to Fix It) on Create Your Happy. It’s packed with even more insights and tools to help you create relationships that thrive—starting with the one you have with yourself. Don’t forget to subscribe to Create Your Happy wherever you listen to podcasts so you never miss an episode!
Together, let’s create relationships that are rooted in understanding, respect, and joy.
I love you! Now let’s go do some epic shit, shall we?
Christy xo
Tune into the full episode here:
Additional Resources
Love, Unstuck Transform your relationships through self-love, emotional intelligence, and authentic connection. Includes special sections on building self-trust. → Get your copy | Peek inside
Authenticity Unleashed Break free from people-pleasing and learn to trust yourself fully with this transformative program. → Learn more
Creating Love – A Sweary AF Meditation: Need to get yourself in a clear headspace? Take a 5-minute meditation break to cultivate self-love and create space for clarity. Get your free quickie meditation now.
Additional resources and offerings
More Great Content
Breaking Free: How Boundaries Transform Your Love and Life Blog | YouTube | Spotify
The Art of Hugging Your Inner Porcupine: Forgiveness & Self-Compassion Blog | YouTube | Spotify
Listen/ Watch
S3E31 | How Self-Doubt Sabotages Relationships (And How to Fix It)
For more insights and discussions, don’t forget to subscribe to Create Your Happy on your favourite podcast player, and grab your copy of my latest book, “Love, Unstuck.”. Together, let’s redefine what it means to be successful in our relationships.
