Hey, beautiful humans! Welcome back to the Create Your Happy blog! Today, I’m diving into a topic that’s been on my mind and, I’m sure, on yours too — if you’re an independent woman: hyper independence. We’re going to explore its roots, its impact on your relationships, and why it’s not quite the high virtue you’ve been led to believe. So, buckle up, and let’s get into it!
The Trap of Hyper independence
Do you find yourself taking on everything because you believe if you leave it to someone else, they’ll probably mess it up? Or maybe you just feel like you can’t count on anyone to do what they say they’re going to do. Trust me, I get it. You’re an independent woman! But here’s the kicker: this hyperindependence isn’t doing you any favours. In fact, it might be creating a barrier to the intimacy and connection you crave.
“Hyperindependence can create a barrier to intimacy, leaving both parties feeling isolated.”
When we insist on doing everything ourselves, we can make our partners or potential partners feel unnecessary and unvalued. This level of independence might seem impressive at first — hello, superwoman! — but it often leads to strained relationships where both parties end up feeling isolated.
Where Does This Come From?
If you’re nodding along, thinking, “This is so me,” don’t worry, it’s not your fault. This pattern is often the result of conditioning and trauma responses. Here’s a fun fact for you: In the USA, it wasn’t until 1974 that a woman could open her own bank account without a male co-signer. In Canada, we were just a bit ahead in 1964. This financial independence empowered many women to lead single lives or leave unsupportive relationships, but it also swung the pendulum towards hyperindependence.
The Impact on Relationships
With many women no longer dependent on men for financial security, men are now expected to step up as providers of care, not just resources. This shift is part of our evolution as humans, but it’s also added pressure, especially on women who were told they could have it all — careers, families, and personal fulfillment. This superwoman expectation often leads to burnout, frustration, and resentment.
“True strength lies in your willingness to be vulnerable.”
Vulnerability is the key to breaking down these walls of hyperindependence. It’s about allowing yourself to be seen, to ask for help, and to share the load.
Embracing Interdependence
So, what’s the solution? It’s all about shifting from being hyper independent to interdependence. Imagine the relief of not having to do everything alone. By embracing vulnerability and asking for help, we can build stronger, more intimate relationships.
“In giving, not only do we help others, but we receive the enriching experiences that we most long for.”
When we give others the chance to support us, we’re not just helping ourselves — we’re creating opportunities for deeper connections and enriching our lives.
Ready to Make the Shift?
Letting go of hyperindependence isn’t just about lightening your load — it’s about enhancing your life and relationships. So, let’s shake off the superwoman cape and embrace a new way of being that includes support, connection, and a lot more joy.
And remember, I’m here for you. I’d love to hear your thoughts and questions. It would seriously make my day to create more content that answers your questions or solves some of the challenges you’re currently facing. Consider commenting below or reaching out and letting me know how I can serve you in creating the life and love of your dreams!
Tune into the full episode here:
Additional Resources
Authenticity Unleashed Program: Struggling with hyper-independence and finding it hard to ask for help? Learn how to set healthy boundaries and embrace your authentic self with this incredible program. Sign up now!
Sweary AF Meditation Series: Need a quick emotional reset? Check out my five-minute sweary meditation series. Perfect for when you need to bring your focus back to the here and now. Access it here.
Additional resources and offerings
More Great Content
One Simple Secret to Finding Happiness: Authenticity For the Win!
Unlocking Peace: The Power of Forgiveness & Self Compassion
Navigating Conflict with Grace: Self Awareness to Manage Emotional Triggers
Tuning Into Harmony: Mindful Communication in Close Relationships
Listen/ Watch
S3E22 | Doing it All Yourself? You’re Doing Independence WRONG!
For more insights and discussions, don’t forget to subscribe to Create Your Happy on your favourite podcast player, and join the waitlist for my upcoming book, “Love, Unstuck”. Together, let’s redefine what it means to be successful in our relationships.
